Be Here Now

  Taking steps. I need a moment. I just want to slide to the floor for a minute. My family is my rock. They hold me up the moments I feel shaky. They are my solid ground. My doctors were so glad last week when I ended chemo, I guess I was and am excited that I will get poked once every two weeks rather then twice. The little things. I am glad that I won't need toxic medicine infused into my body. The big things. Though I am allowed to be scared. I am scared because there is now me, and the tumor and the cancer. But nothing to protect it. There isn't any more radiation to blast at my brain and no more chemo until further notice. Those are my fears. Through all of this though, I've learned that your fears can be real, but enjoying what you've got will make a world a difference. I choose my own path. And my path is to not dread for the inevitable but to live, truly live with what I have. I am only 16 but I have everything I could ever want, or need. I am lucky. This is the life I was given and there's nothing to do but love it. So I slide up from the floor, and I breathe. I breathe for my life, I breathe for those who are now in the great beyond, who fought this fight. I am breathing for you. Taking steps.

I am here, now.

  Blissful Dying