Knowing

Yesterday I laid in a MRI closing my eyes just knowing. I made lyrics to the sound of the banging, slamming, and beeps. Breathing, and knowing. And being okay with it. My tumor has began to grow again. I am feeling so many different things. My initial reaction is just, overwhelmed, and confused. But then I simply realized that since my diagnosis I have found myself, my meaning of life, that it's not the time spent on this earth but the way you live. I can easily say, my life is amazing. I choose to live happily. I woke up today, to my mom, my sister, my family, to Jared and that means the world to
 me. My oncologist will be meeting with several doctors to figure out the next step. Please hold those I love in your hearts. And don't forget to smile today, you woke up, and you're alive.
Blissful Dying